Why I love being single

I've spent too many times on blogs, moaning how life is so cruel to me, how I'm gagging for sex and how I wish a guy would just come and sweep me off my feet. So I thought I would make a positive post.

So here it goes:

Why I love being single

1) I get to cook what I want, when I want. I am not a cafe, I do not have to make gourmet meals.
2)My word is final.
3) I do not have to ask permission to go out.
4) I can spend all day with my kids if I want too and not have to worry about ignoring the "man" in my life
5) The evenings are my own to read, watch tv or come online for as long as I want without anyone moaning about going to bed or turning it over for the football.
6) I don't have to do the washing up that night, it's not going to kill me if I leave it until the morning.
7) I don't have to worry about shaving my legs as soon as they start to get stubbly
8) I know that my bills have been paid.
9) I can prove to my kids that mummies can mend broken toys too
10) I can sing and dance like a nutter, knowing that the kids will join in and not frown and think I'm weird
11) I can drool over actors and not have to worry about making the man in my life feel inadequate
12) Having lots of wardrobe space
13) Having a whole kingsize bed to myself
14) don't have to keep my stomach sucked in when I walk from the bed to the bathroom
15) Doing yoga in a swim cossie at midnight, just because I felt the urge to be healthy and fit
16) Drink wine and get tipsy and not worry about the other half moaning because you're giggling too much
17) You don't have to worry about morning breath
18) You can flirt with that cute guy at the bus stop and not feel guilty
19) you can flirt with actors at signings and again not feel guilty.
20) You don't have to worry about getting on the pill or spending money on condoms
21) Toilet seat stays DOWN
22) You can talk to your mom/friends without getting dirty looks because you've been on for over an hour
23) Vibrators don't talk back, or expect breakfast.


Feel free to comment back with anything you can think off ;)

A quickie

I'm just jumping on quickly to say I'm still alive!

Mum has been down and gone, leaving me with tonsilitus, which she came down with towards the end of the visit. So both myself and the kids are having a great time, which is wonderful seeing as I only just got over the flu! And look I can even sound positive still about the whole thing.. must be the tablets.

What else? I got kate's email about "You know what" I'll be finding someway of printing it (I don't have a printer) which may mean writing with paper and pen and sending a cheque off soon.

Also before I forget, the mysterious R, who I seem to have misjudged immensely. I asked him out for a drink, he agreed, all was going well until my friend saw him in town and stopped for a chat, where it emerged the woman he was with, was his fiancee! The damn git was engaged! I have therefore decided that men are gits. Well most men.

Other then that I'll be back up and online once I've got rid of this ickiness and I'll be rambling on in the chats as per norm. Now I'm going to go and have a nice steam bath.

Show me my bed

I'm having one of those days. One of those days where you wish you had never woken up. The kids are being little sods, I've come on here quickly to have a little moan, before my last £2 on my electricity runs out (I will be learning what it was like to live without electricity come tomorrow due to a fuck up which was probably my fault.) I still feel like crap warmed up, although right now I'm not very warm.. I've had to install the new McAfee as my other one ran out, and it's being a bitch to my PC. Ie I've been waiting five mins for the bloody Security Centre to gather my protection service.. and I'm in a foul mood. All this and it's only just gone 1pm. It's coming to the part where I'm going to have to swallow my pride and a) ask to borrow a tenner of my mate and b) Have a good old cry to get this frustration out of my system. It wouldn't be so bad, but the kids are in exactly the same mood. Got to love being ill. Not. All three of us are horrid, bitchy, moody, hormonal and ready to snap. Oh the glories of life.

So yes, I think I may just go start gathering Berries now, and fatten ourselves up before the big freeze comes in. Hibernation seems like a wonderful idea at the moment.. Maybe I should follow the animals (seeing as we are animals) and take their advice for once. If all should go tits up.. Sleep*

*Or drink, however seeing as I have no money, sleeping will have to make do.

Memorieeees...

I've been reminiscing alot today... and woe and behold what should I find..



We had such fab cartoony things when we were young. I love the eighties..

Sleep deprivation

Sleep deprivation is bad for you. Don't read if you are offended by anything related to Religion..

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15127464/ Article that started it all...

photo nut 101: They were proved to have a Christian theme to them
Phantasm Kiss: *nods* Uh...Christmas anyone?
photo nut 101: seriously if the woman ever picked one up and read it she wouldn't have a problem
Phantasm Kiss: besides of course the Jesus parallel thing
photo nut 101: come on Voldemort the Devil Harry Christ ect
Phantasm Kiss: Dumbles?
photo nut 101: God? hehehe
Phantasm Kiss: lol Oooh! Judas! Snape?
hells9441: oooh
Phantasm Kiss: or WORMTAIL
hells9441: Peter
photo nut 101: both
hells9441: And guilderoy could be gabriel :-P
photo nut 101: hhmmm though Snape would make a better Doubting Thomas I declare him three times till the end
hells9441: How about a jonah? wasn't he cursed... swallowed by a whale..
Giovane Sorella: who's noah?
hells9441: Meh.. Sirius.. he was swallowed by a veil whale.. veil.. rhymes. Noah could be Hagrid, all those animals
Giovane Sorella: hahaha
hells9441: two by two hurrah hurrah the animals came in two by two hurrah hurrah
photo nut 101: Elijah totally there
Phantasm Kiss: hahahahaha
hells9441: Moses was Hermione! Let my house elves go!
Phantasm Kiss: woot! and Ron? He's awfully goofy
Giovane Sorella: who's the virgin mary?
photo nut 101: John the Baptist
hells9441: Virgin mary is..... Tonks.. no
photo nut 101: nah
hells9441: Loony luna cos no one believed mary at first
photo nut 101: much as I'd like it no
hells9441: thought she was a bloody nutter
Phantasm Kiss: hehehehe
hells9441: Herod... could be Fudge Wouldn't believe any of it.. a plague of locusts?! That's not God's work! It's er.. the weather.. that's right, it's awfully hot this time of year..
Phantasm Kiss: lol
hells9441: Frogs?! Definately not God.. that is jsut the ministry inventing a different sort of rain..
Phantasm Kiss: lol
hells9441: who else... Samson..That could well be Grawp...
photo nut 101: Cedric
hells9441: Cedric wasn't strong..
photo nut 101: in heart when he bent, he died
Phantasm Kiss: poor Ceddie
hells9441: no.. not cedric.. Cedric is more of a... salt :-P
hells9441: JOB! No.. was it Job... who turned his wife to salt?
Phantasm Kiss: lol Job was the freakishly patient one
hells9441: Lucius.. Now Lucius could be Delilah :-P
Phantasm Kiss: hehehehe
photo nut 101: no it was the man who was in Sadam and Gomora
Phantasm Kiss: but he's the one who HAS the hair
photo nut 101: His wife was Sara...Lot?
hells9441: sodom and gonorrhea? thats the one..I knew he had a three letter name..
Phantasm Kiss: lol

Seriously.. HP should not be compared with bible..

Sniffles

I could bore you all with my version of events from Monday at the Green Wing DVD Series 2 signing... but I won't. All I shall say is that Stephen was adorable, Michelle and Pippa were lovely and Julian was just charming and slightly more appealing when he's looking rather overwhelmed.

I did meet some lovely peeps that day though *Waves to Skea and co* and I can't wait to meet them again at some point in the near future. *Wink wink, nudge nudge* It was lovely to finally put some faces to the names and Skea, we will definately have that corner to ourselves one day!

However, I am now rather poorly. Hence why it's now 3 minutes past 4 in the morning and I am not in bed, but on here writing to moan about it. Normally I suffer in silence, but I feel like a bag of mutated crap right now so I thought I would be good enough to share it with you. Thankfully you can't get germs via the Internet* and besides if you could get germs, then I'd be blaming Jools as she was the last person I knew who was ill. I'm just hoping that I've not passed my germs on to all the GW fans that were there on Monday as well as the actors. I wasn't ill then, so I don't feel at all guilty if anyone comes down with something now as I didn't know I was a possible carrier...

Besides, I think I would have had my karma seeing as I fell asleep with the kids this afternoon and completely forgot about R coming. Hence he saw me looking as if I was something out of the living dead, with big fluffed up hair to compliment it.. He told me I looked like shit, which is moderately better then my eldest telling me I looked like a monster this morning. Hopefully he'll see me next week and forget how I looked tonight. (That's R not Louis. I think I have scarred my son for life with how I looked this morning. Then again I think I've probably scarred R for life too)

Talking of how one looks, after seeing the photo's of myself from said signing, I shall be starting my new diet. (Once I have eaten the Terry's Orange that is sitting in my fridge.. I don't think I will be able to get away with it being classed as one of my daily 5) I'm not usually very good at diets, because I have no willpower.. I did go to Slimming world for 6 months once, but I was really bad as I used to weigh in on a Thursday, pig out from Thursday to Sunday, then live on raisins for the next couple of days. I managed to lose over 3 stone, but I definately do not recommend it at all. I think the only reason I managed to not kill myself as such was because I ate so much crap over the course of the weekend, I couldn't bare to look at food for a while. However, this time I will be doing it properly. And I will probably be alot poorer too. Why is it, to eat healthily you have to spend a fortune on food? Fruit and Veg are so expensive. I spent £20 the other day on not very much fruit and veg at all. Mind you, I was in Sainsbury's.

I should really go now..



*Ok so I know you can get a virus via the internet, but thankfully (in a sense) that only affects the mechanical stuff and not the biological stuff..

Drinks all round!

Hurrah!

Other then feeling rather weak and feeble at the moment.. yup a cold has come and taken it's hold, I am rather impressed by my day today. I received a phone call this evening, advising me that my broadband is now back working, plus due to my stressful time I will receive just under £100 and two free months. So now I'm saving all of Jools' podcasts so I can listen to them over and over again. Move over Ricky Gervais *wink*

I have also been lucky enough to be able to get out of a parent's meeting and have my friend pay for me to go to the DVD signing on Monday. Yes I will finally get to meet Julian and Stephen aswell as all the rest of the fabulous cast that are attending. I will be wearing my glorious T-Shirt that was made for me by PeeWee that has Guy licking his balls across my chest. Make of it, what you will.

Ooh Mr Somerville... *Sings* Don't leave me this way...

Sorry.. *grins* as I was saying, I'll be attending on Monday. With I think a list of everything that I have to say to Julian. I will remember to not act like some gormless twat. I've been practising in my mirror.. and yes it has been laughing. *Sigh*

So what else has been going on? "R" has yet to say anything. I did send him a text and tell him it was true that I liked him and thought he was a great guy.. That was it though.. When I saw him he didn't say anything about it, but he did act as if nothing was wrong. We laughed, joked and chuckled as per norm. Which is good right? Seeing as if he was at all worried he would have ran in the opposite direction, screaming like he did with that Spider.. *sigh* Seriously, it would be so much easier if we could read men's minds. That way I would know if I should say anything more to him. He could be standing there thinking ask me out for a drink! Then again he could be thinking Dear god, don't say anything please! See what I mean.. He could be thinking anything.

ok, now i'm in a chat with everyone and I can't keep up writing on here and talking on there!

Bye!!

Fun, Fun, Fun!

The last few days have been.. interesting.

Louis started his new "big" school on Monday. (photo's will come at some point.) He walked straight in and wasn't at all bothered. In fact his new teacher asked him if he was going to say goodbye to me and he looked over his shoulder and said "see you later" then walked off. A part of me is so very proud, as a year ago he would have been a mess. Another part of me was a little sad that he was so willing to leave me behind. Selfish I know, but I've always been there really and now. Now I'm not. But still the proudness of him pushes that to one side.

So he's been there two days now and after being told on Sunday that his school is rife for headlice, I've been checking his hair vigourously. Tonight, I went through the same notions and to my horror I found a louse in his hair. He hadn't been itching or anything. So out comes the treatment and thankfully I found just a couple of eggs and one louse. AJ, my youngest, had no lice, but a few eggs. I've so far found nothing in mine, but I treated us all just incase. *Shudders* I hate lice. I then had to ring round all the mothers and let them know as someone there gave them to my kids. It's embarressing though..

Ring ring! Ring ring!

Mother: Hello?
Me: Hi *Child's mum's name*
Mo: Hi! How's things?
Me: Well, not bad really. I'm just ringing to let you know that Louis bought back more then a school book today
Mo: Oh?
Me: Yes he had a couple of friends in his hair tonight. I've treated him, but I thought I'd best let you know
Mo: Oh poor mite! He's only been there two days
Me: Yes, Yes I know.
Mo: How do you treat it?
I explain what to get
Mo: Ok, I'll do *child's name* tonight too.
Me: I'll let the school know tomorrow also.

Ugh, nits.. Horrid little things.

However on a good note, or a bad note.. Currently I'm not quite sure what type of note it is just yet, but R. There as been an.. update on the saga that is my love life.

Yesterday at the cafe, Pauline arrives.
P: Hells! I'm glad I've seen you.
M: Hi! What's up?
P: I told him
Is slightly confused at this point.
M: Told who what?
P: R. I told him.
M: Oh dear lord. What did you say and more to the point what did he say?
P: I told him he had an admirer who really liked him
M: Oh jeez.. What did he say? Did he laugh?
P: He asked who, so I told him that it was you.
M: Crap. Ok continue
P: Well, he said that you were a really great gal, really lovely. Then he grinned and then he went a little red.
M: Oh jeez. What the hell does that mean? Oh crap I have to see him Wednesday.
P: Make sure you do.
M: I will. But I'm not going to say anything...


Hmm. The great/lovely gal is sweet, but is that him saying it because P is my friend? And the grin.. that could be just a grin.. and the blushing.. well that could be anything. He's embarressed that someone like me could even think of liking him, or he likes me, or seeing as he was told after the Spider incident, he's just remembered he's acted like a big girl's blouse and has then found out the person he did it in front of, likes him.

This relationship thing is really hard work! I have come to the conclusion, that should he say anything I'm just going to act cool. I'm not going to deny it, nor act hysterical asking who told him. I'm just going to say something like "well, that's my secret out then." We'll just have to see how tomorrow goes.. Yes! Tomorrow night, I have to see him. I will make sure I look pleasant and I won't try to give off any nerves. So yes.. Tomorrow. It's unbearable. What if he doesn't say anything? Do I continue to carry on pretending not to know that he knows. *Sigh* Well, I'm sure I'll find out tomorrow.

And of course I'll be on here to let you know how it went.. or didn't..

Role Models

I have had an interesting day today. Ok so it's not been that interesting, no winning the lottery or being swept of my feet, but a day that's a little better then boring. Firstly I finished getting Louis' school uniform. The smallest I can get it all in is 3 years.. Louis is in size 18-23 months trousers still so I have a lot of wonder-webbing to do. At least I shouldn't have to buy him any more uniform for the next 5 years. I think this lot will last him. Unless he comes across something radioactive and he grows upwards all of a sudden.. without any extra legs or arms.

Anyway, the reason behind the title. I spend a lot of my time in a cafe in my town chatting etc to friends, passer bys that stop to gossip and general waifs and strays and today was no different. Whilst my friend was chatting to someone she hadn't seen in a few months, I sat drinking my hot chocolate, nodding in the right places but not really paying attention. I noticed a couple of women sitting across from me, with an old copy of reveal or Heat. They were talking about Posh Spice going out and getting drunk and how this is bad as she should be a role model to kids. They were really going on about it, slagging her off etc etc.

Now it got me thinking.. I know a dangerous thing, but it made me think of my view on these things. I understand that those that are in the public eye, are seen doing things that could be a bad image on themselves, or set a bad example to others, but most of these peeps in the public eye are adults. I can understand it if it were a young teenager doing these things, but those that most kids do look up to are fully grown humans. So what if they get drunk, fall out of a nightclub and flash their knickers. My mother did it all the time. Which leads me onto my next point. Those who should be role models to the children, are parents. These two women that were busy slagging off Posh, I've seen down the local social clubs with their families, pissed out of their tiny little minds. Adults like to have fun and if that involves alcohol then so be it. But if they are going to slate someone that is famous for doing exactly the same thing as they do, then they should realise that they are just as "bad".

Obviously drugs are different and those that are in the public eye should think carefully about where they are doing it, but that's something else entirely. If I start on that, I shall never stop and I'll start going on about people I have never met before who do things that I don't agree with. But again at the end of the day as long as you point out to your kids that this isn't the right path to take, then at least you've known you've tried to keep them on the straight and narrow. Obviously kids don't pay attention to half what their parents say.. I should know, being a kid once upon a time, but as long as you are respectful to others, don't do things in front of your kids that you wouldn't want them to do etc etc then at least you know you've tried.

Besides, we are humans. And humans make mistakes from time to time. Which I tell myself everytime I get drunk and suffer the following morning. "That last drink was a mistake and humans are entitled to make mistakes.." Clears my concience everytime.

And before I forget I'm still on Dial up. After being told I'll be back on Broadband tonight, I rang up Orange to find out what was going on to be told to ring back in 5 days. I, of course, wasn't satisfied, told them so in a small rant that went straight for the jugular, then went and made a complaint to Watchdog and ISPA.

So you never know, I may be on watchdog in a couple of weeks.. Better then being on crimewatch I suppose.

Dog Bounty Hunter Petition

This is a petition that my close friend set up. She's a huge fan of Dog the Bounty Hunter (she's an American) and she asked me to spread the word about the petition she needs everyone signing. Honlulu Police Dept have said they will do something once it has 1,000 signatures on it within 2 days.

Basically what happened, for those of you who do not know of these peeps, is that they went to Mexico 3 years ago and caught a guy wanted for Rape in America. Mexico have finally decided it was kidnap and got the American authorities to arrest Dog and some of his family on kidnap charges today. The rapist they bought back to America got 124 years jail time..

Now I know it's none of our business as such, but this guy was basically getting the criminals of the streets. Not our streets I agree, but still.

So please, sign this. If not for them, then for my friend.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/DogChapman/index.html

Many Thanks

Incy Wincy Spider...

So much and yet so little has happened over the last couple of days. I finally got a phone call yesterday from the school I've been fighting to get my 4 year old into. He start's monday! My lil boy has all grown up! well.. almost grown up.. Truth be told, I can't wait for him to start school. some peace and quiet! I know I'll have my youngest still with me (and he starts playschool come November) but I'm looking forward to having some me time.

What else has happened? "R" popped over tonight.. Here is how it went..

R: How was your weekend darlin?
Me: Fantastic! Got drunk at... OMG SPIDER!!!!!!
R: Where?
me: On your top *SCREAM!!!!*
R: *SCREAM!!!* Ew! Gerroff! Ugh!

*R jumps around flapping at himself, finally swipes it off and it falls on floor*

Me: *Laughing my head off*
R: *laughing his head off* Hells. Promise me you won't tell anyone sweetheart
Me: About that?
R: that won't help my manly image..
Me: I promise my lips are sealed.. *Tears are running down face*
R: I thought you meant a tarantula or something!! *laughing he has tears now*
me: That was a tarantula to me! It's massive..

*both laughing, tears falling, he holding his stomach, me wiping my eyes.... Laughing subsides*

R: I'll see you next week.. No telling... Promise!
Me: *Snorts and Starts laughing again, which starts of R again also*

Finally we both stop laughing, and we say our goodbyes, me still promising not to tell... well you don't know him, so I'm not really telling anyone that will tell him they know...

Obviously you can see I'm not good with Spiders. Even money spiders I freak out about. I don't know what it is, but I just can't abide them.. Seem's like R is in the same boat.. although I think I just made him panic slightly by standing there screaming at him with this spider crawling up his top. I'm still laughing about it now and 3 hours have passed..

To be honest I think someone was helping me out. I was really nervous around him today, as I saw my friend P and she said she was going to drop a cliffhanger of a hint that I was interested. That massive spider on R's top threw my tension out of the window.. I mean how scared of a bloke can you be when you see him waving his arms widely about, screaming like a little girl because of a spider... And you know what.. I like him even more for it..

Drinkies..

Last night I went to my ex's sisters and her husbands joint Hen and Stag do. They're having their vows renewed in a couple of weeks and because they didn't have a party a decade ago, they had it last night. Now my ex wasn't invited, mainly because my sister in law doesn't like him, plus the fact they all wanted a good night. It was a fabulous night which didn't end until 5:30 this morning. My cheeks and stomach are still hurting so much from all the laughing last night, which was mainly based on my friend falling asleep during sex with her partner* (I mean we've all done that before) and on the fact that I've been single for such a long time. Oh and the fact that G (my sis in law) and T (a friend) decided that they would tell R if I don't. But it was a great night, we played a wonderful little game of Who's in the bag. Boy's Vs Girls.... Girl's obviously being the winners as we're so used to having to describe things for men, it comes as second nature to us.

I'm now a little tired and craving for a bacon sandwich.. If only I could just get motivated enough I'd get up off my lazy arse and make it..

Before I forget, a big Happy Birthday to Heather for tomorrow. Best Wishes Hon :)

* Just to point out that this was something that came up in conversation. They were not having sex in front of us as she fell asleep. It wasn't that type of party.

If you can't beat them..Join them

I've started noticing more and more peeps coming on here and I thought to myself, fuck it! I'm going to join to. I mean you can't have enough Blogs can you? Although I admit that I do not keep them all updated frequently, unless of course something has happened that has either elated me, or severely pissed me off. I am a single mother, which not much of a life (not many interesting peeps you meet on the way to and from your children's school that's for sure)

However, Seeing as I've been offline for such a long time, I'm contemplating on the question of why Dial up is so slow. See there is a fault on my Broadband line, which has so far been there since the 15th August and is still not fixed. After alot of ranting I managed to get dial up. Now, why is it that in this day and age, Dial up is so slow? Normally on my broadband I'm on speed of between 5-8Mbps but at the moment on dial up the max speed I can get is 50.6 kpbs (although today I've been running at 14.4 kbps) I know that soon Dial up will be wiped out, and that Broadband will soon be the "slow one" but why cannot dial up be any quicker? Is the lines it runs on? Or something more complex? There are still so many peeps out there that use it (including my mother now) so why isn't it at least 2 or 3 mbps. *Shrugs* I don't know.

Oh and before I forget, if you are on dial up and contemplating moving over to Broadband.. Do not go with Orange. Their customer care and technical support are crap. Nine times out of ten when you ring you are sent through to a call centre in India that cannot help you as you need to have been put through to the English Call centre (so they can ring around the different departments). I spent one day ringing them up several times, each time telling them They couldn't help me as they were the wrong call centre just so I could get to the english centre.. I've also told them I'm forwarding them my phone bills. I will get some compensation for this. Over a thousand emails I had in total (including spam that were about 25% of those) that I sat and read through yesterday, waiting for me in my inbox.

But I have to admit, It's rather nice being missed. But what have I been doing for the last month and a bit? I have a rather nice DVD collection now.. which consists mainly of Johnny Depp I have to say, plus I've spent a lot of time in my local cafe drinking hot chocolate and gossiping. That guy that I told some of you about, Chris, (Herb's and Spices Guy) got beat up by a gang for no reason. I sent him a card which was nice of me, considering he 'fessed up to having me in a queue with two other girls.. maybe one of those gal's found out and sent someone to sort him out.. I don't know, but I sent him a Get Well soon card. He's now got fewer teeth and two metal plates in his jaw. Somehow I think Karma had a role to play in all this. But he's old news now. I don't have time for jerks like that.

There is one guy though that I do like. His name will be shortened to R. Not that I have any worries he will stumble across this as I have no idea if he is at all online, but it's just incase. He's a really lovely guy (he's also hot too which helps. Is an uncanny lookalike to Danny Dyer.. Google him *Wink*) but I'm a bit shy.. There's only so much rejection a girl can take! My friends in the "real" world tell me that I should confide in him and I know for a fact that he wouldn't laugh in my face, but I have to see him once a week and it may make things awkward. So I'm staying quiet. My young nieces overheard my sister in law and I talking about him and have threatened to spill (so has my sister in law) but a little threat worked wonders and they have, so far, kept schtum..

Really I need to build up my confidence. Standing in front of a mirror saying "You are beautiful, you are smart" Doesn't help when your reflection starts laughing back at you..